The therapeutic relationship is the most important factor in the success of therapy. To enhance the effectiveness of therapy I create a safe and supportive environment where there can be trust, empathy, and mutual respect. Together we work to identify goals, develop strategies, and track progress. In my office you are empowered. While specific techniques and interventions are important, it is the quality of our relationship that determines the success of therapy.
I have several interventions in my toolbelt, depending on what you need and what you desire will determine what tools are used. Included here are the theories and interventions I lean towards with their explanations, I also use EMDR, Neurofeedback, and brain mapping please see those specific webpages for more information.
Attachment theory is a framework that focuses on the importance the early bonds. These early attachments serve as a foundation for future relationships, influencing how individuals perceive themselves and others, how they regulate their emotions, and how they relate to others in close relationships.
There Individuals with a secure attachment style tend to have had caregivers who were consistently responsive to their needs, providing a secure base from which they could explore the world. As adults, they tend to have positive views of themselves and others, and they are able to form healthy, balanced relationships. four main attachment styles that individuals may develop based on their early attachment experiences:
Individuals with this attachment style may have had caregivers who were inconsistently responsive, leading to a sense of uncertainty and anxiety in their relationships. As adults, they may be overly dependent on others for validation and reassurance, and they may worry about being abandoned or rejected.
Individuals with this attachment style may have had caregivers who were emotionally unavailable or unresponsive to their needs. As a result, they may have learned to suppress their emotions and avoid close relationships. They may prefer independence and self-reliance in their adult relationships.
This attachment style is characterized by a lack of a coherent attachment strategy, often due to experiences of trauma or abuse. Individuals with disorganized attachment may exhibit contradictory behaviors in relationships, such as seeking closeness but then withdrawing or behaving erratically.
Attachment theory has been influential in understanding child development, parenting practices, and adult relationships. It highlights the importance of responsive caregiving in infancy and early childhood, as well as the potential long-term impact of early attachment experiences on mental health and well-being.
Developed by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s and further expanded upon by Mary Ainsworth and others, attachment theory suggests that these early attachment experiences can shape an individual's emotional, social, and psychological development throughout their life.
Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy focuses on the idea that individuals have different "parts" within themselves, each with its own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. These parts can sometimes conflict with each other, leading to inner turmoil and emotional distress. I use IFS to help individuals understand and reconcile these different parts, leading to greater harmony and self-awareness.
When we use IFS we first begin by identifying different parts, such as the "inner critic," the "inner child," or the "caretaker." Each part is seen as having its own perspective and intentions. We look at the role this part plays in your life, often developed as a way to protect or cope with past experiences. For example, the "inner critic" might have developed to protect the you from criticism or failure.
You are encouraged to build relationships with your different parts, understanding their needs and motivations. This process helps to reduce inner conflict and promote self-compassion. The ultimate goal of IFS is to help one integrate these different parts into a harmonious whole. This involves developing a sense of self that can lead and care for the various parts in a balanced way.
IFS therapy often involves exploring and healing past wounds or traumas that may have contributed to the development of these different parts. By understanding the origins of these parts, individuals can work towards healing and growth.
IFS therapy is often used to treat a variety of mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, trauma, and relationship issues.
Emotion-Focused Therapy focuses on helping individuals become more aware of, regulate, and express their emotions in healthy ways. EFT is based on the idea that emotions are a core part of human experience and that unresolved emotional issues can contribute to distress and interpersonal difficulties.
EFT helps you become more aware of your emotions, including identifying specific feelings and understanding the underlying causes and triggers for these emotions. It aims to help regulate your emotions effectively, which involves learning to tolerate and manage difficult emotions without becoming overwhelmed. This can involve techniques such as mindfulness, relaxation, and self-soothing strategies.
The main three stages of EFT - stabilizing, restructuring, and consolidating - all focus on increasing understanding of emotional process to allow one to have more control, to have a sense of belonging, and to increase one’s acceptance of themselves and others. EFT teaches the difference between primary emotions (emotion from a reaction to something) and secondary emotions (how you feel about what you feel) because how one originally felt is not the same as how one feels about it now. The original emotion is validated as normal. Dealing with the primary emotion is getting to the heart of one’s pain and then all the secondary emotions can be reviewed and evaluated. The more one understands their primary emotions the more they understand the emotional messages and then they can balance their behavioral and cognitive patterns.
People are relational and the self is an ongoing process. The powerfully and emotionally loaded ways one has enacted with others, which are now internalized into models in their mind and nervous system; have created strategies to deal with their vulnerabilities. I desire to get a sense of your struggles and where you get stuck.
Collaboration between us is extremely important. I will consistently ask you if I am understanding you correctly, because you are the expert in your own story. Knowing the cast of characters in your memories and how they affect your nervous system helps me to understand you better.
One of the key elements for EFT is to help people find their emotional balance. Sue Johnson, a co-developer of EFT enjoys using the metaphor of music and dancing, she states the therapist changes the emotional music and that changes their dance with others. It changes the dancer.
EFT aims to help individuals transform their emotions in a way that promotes healing and growth. This can involve reframing negative emotions, developing more adaptive emotional responses, and resolving unresolved emotional issues.
EFT has been used to treat a variety of mental health issues, including depression, anxiety, trauma, and relationship problems.
A widely used and effective approach that focuses on the relationship between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. It is based on the premise that our thoughts influence our feelings and behaviors, and that by changing negative or distorted thoughts, we can change how we feel and behave.
First, we identify negative or distorted thoughts that contribute to emotional distress or problematic behaviors. These thoughts are often automatic and deeply ingrained. Once negative thoughts are identified, I help you challenge and evaluate the accuracy of these thoughts. This involves looking for evidence that supports or contradicts the thoughts. The next step is to restructure or change negative thoughts into more balanced and realistic ones. This can involve developing alternative ways of thinking or viewing a situation.
CBT also involves behavioral activation, which focuses on increasing positive and adaptive behaviors. This can help improve mood and reduce feelings of depression or anxiety. Throughout CBT, you learn skills to help cope with and manage difficult emotions. This may include relaxation techniques, problem-solving skills, and communication skills.
CBT is a structured and goal-oriented approach to therapy, typically conducted over a series of sessions. It has been shown to be effective in treating a wide range of mental health issues, including depression, anxiety disorders, and PTSD. CBT is often used in conjunction with other therapeutic approaches.
When I did marriage counseling, I enjoyed using the Gottman method. Even though I am no longer a marriage therapist many of the skills taught with the Gottman method can be useful for individuals to learn ways of communicating to their loved ones. It is based on over 40 years of research on relationships and aims to help strengthen relationships, manage conflict, and enhance overall connection and intimacy.
The Gottman method is based on the concept that trust, commitment, emotional intimacy, and shared meaning are essential for a healthy relationship. It teaches skills for recognizing and expressing emotions in a healthy way, as well as techniques for empathetic listening and responding to each other's emotions. Four communication patterns are identified which can predict the end of a relationship if left unchecked. These are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. The method teaches couples how to recognize and address these patterns to improve communication and reduce conflict.
This method highlights the importance of positive interactions in relationships. It suggests that for every negative interaction, there should be at least five positive interactions to maintain a healthy balance.
The Gottman Method provides tools and techniques for managing conflict constructively. This includes strategies for de-escalating arguments, compromising, and finding solutions that satisfy both people. The Gottman Method encourages couples to continually learn about each other's inner world, including their thoughts, feelings, and aspirations. This helps build a strong foundation of friendship and intimacy in the relationship. The Gottman Method helps couples create a sense of shared meaning and purpose in their relationship. This involves identifying shared values, goals, and traditions that strengthen their bond.
Overall, the Gottman Method is a comprehensive approach that combines research-based strategies with practical techniques to help build and maintain healthy, fulfilling relationships.